Saturday, December 27, 2008
One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb).
The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women reading this will be finished now.
Men who read this are probably still busy checking their thumbs.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Dekh Bhai Dekh
Mile Sur Mera Tumhara
Bharath Ek Khoj
Salma Sultana DD News Reader
Vicco turmeric ayurvedic cream
Washin powder Nirma, Washing powder Nirma
Doodh si safedi, Nirma se aayi
Rangeen kapde bhi khil khil jaaye
Complan Boy(Shahid Kapoor) and Girl (Ayesha Takia)
Surabhi: Renuka Sahane and Siddharth
Then were 'Mungerilal ke hasin sapane' and 'karamchand'....'Vikram Betal', etc.
How did one survive growing up in the 70's, 80's and 90's?
We had no seatbelts, no airbags and sitting in the back of a truck was a treat…
Our baby prams had the most gorgeous lead based colours…
No such thing as tamper proof bottle tops…
Opening kitchen cupboards was a breeze… as safety locks were unheard off…
Cycling was like a breath of fresh air…
No safety helmets, knee pads or elbow pads, with plenty of cardboards between spokes to make it sound like a motorbike…
When thirsty we only drank tap water, bottled water was still a mystery…
We kept busy collecting bits & pieces so we could build all sort of things … and we were fearless on our bikes even when the brakes failed going downhill…
We were showing off how tough we are, by how high we could climb trees & then jumping down….It was great fun….
We could stay out to play for hours, as long as we got back before dark, in time for dinner…
We walked to school, or sometimes we even rode our bike.
We had no mobile phones, but we always managed to find each other….
How? No one knows…
We lost teeth, broke arms & legs, we got cuts and bruises and bloody noses…. nobody complained as we had so much fun, it wasn't anybody's fault, only ours
We ate everything in sight, cakes, bread, chocolate, ice-cream, sweet sugary drinks, yet, we stayed skinny by fooling around.
And if one of us was lucky to find a 1 litre coca cola bottle we all had swag from it & guess what? Nobody picked up any germs....
We did not have Play Stations, MP3, Nintendo's, I-Pods, Video games, 99 Cable TV channels, DVD's, Home Cinema, Mobile phones, Home Computers, Laptops, Chat-rooms, Internet, etc .... BUT, we had REAL FRIENDS!!!!
We called on friends to come out to play, never rang the doorbell, just went around the back…
We loved being let loose in the big bad world…without bodyguards…
We played with sticks and stones, played cowboys and Indians, doctors and nurses, hide and seek, soccer games, over and over again…
When we failed our exams we were given a second chance by simply repeating the same grade…without visiting psychiatrists, psychologists or counselors…
Such were the days…
We had freedom, success, disappointments and responsibilities. .
Most of all, we learned to respect others…
Are YOU from that generation?? If that's the case, email this to all your friends from the same era…
Maybe this message will help them forget the stress that surrounds us these days….and just for a few moments puts a smile to their faces as they remember what life was really like in the good old days……
HAVE A SUPER DAY !!!!
With Golden Days Value…
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
'I am arrive by passenger train Ahmednagar station and
my belly is too much swelling with jackfruit. I am
therefore went to privy. Just I doing the nuisance
that guard making whistle blow for train to go off and
I am running with 'lotah' in one hand and 'dhoti' in
the next when I am fall over and expose all my
shocking to man and female on plateform. I am got
leaved at Ahmenagar station.
This too much bad, if passenger go to make dung that
damn guard not
wait train five minutes for him. I am therefore pray
your honour to
make big fine on that guard for public sake. Otherwise
I am making big report! To papers.'
Okhil Chandra Sen wrote this letter to the Sahibganj Divisional Railway office in 1909. It is on display at the Railway Museum in New Delhi. It was also reproduced under the caption 'Travellers' Tales' in the Far Eastern Economic Review.
Any reason why this letter was of historic value?
It apparently led to the introduction of toilets on trains!
Saturday, November 15, 2008
We serve the needy, not the greedy...
2.Yesterday's news : An aunty was raped while jogging.
Today's news: More aunties found jogging.
3. How do Municipal Buses help in Family Planning?
By spreading the Message: KRIPYA PEECHHE SE CHADHIYE
4. Written on the T-Shirt of a girl:
SITUATORY WARNING: Objects inside the T-Shirt are larger than they appear from outside.
5. Hindi class mein master ki pant ki zip khuli dekh Ladkiyan zor se
Masterji bole : Zyada he he ki to bahar nikaal kar khada kar doonga.
6. Santa was fondling a lady in a crowded bus.
Lady : Excuse me, aap achha nahi kar rahe hain!
Santa : Itni bheed mein is se achha nahi ho sakta.
7. Santa and banta were caught raping a girl. They were called for
When the girl arrives, both Santa and Banta shout together: "Yahi thee,Yahi thee"
8. Judge : Why do u want divorce?
Banta : She doesn't satisfy me in bed!
Preeto (Wife) : Tu yahan ka collector laga hai? Sari colony khush hai,ik tumari agg nahin bujati.
9.Jeeto was going to Chandigarh for vacations. At the time of packing
Santa thinks: Kitni bholi hai, main saath nahin jaa raha phir bhi condom saath le jaa rahi hai.
10. Pappu meets papa Santa on stairs of a KOTHA.
Pappu: Papa aap yahan kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: Yaar ab 200-300 rupaye ke peeche teri mummy ke nakhre nahi sahe jaate!
11. Santa: Murge kaise diye?
Vendor: Rs 50, Rs 40 n Rs 10
Santa: Rs 10, itna sasta kyon?
Vendor: Sir ise AIDS hai.
Santa: De do mujhe ... khana hai, rape thode hi karna hai!
12. Santa runing after a Bus, catches it n asks the Driver:"Ye bus teri Ma lagti hai?"
Driver : Nahin.
Santa : To kya Behan lagti hai?
Driver : Nahin.
Santa : To phir chadne kyun nahin deta?
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Mudras are very powerful. If you practice these mudras regularly you can see the wonderful health benefits.
1. Gyan Mudra (Mudra of Knowledge):
Touch the tip of the thumb to the tip of the index finger, with the other three fingers stretched out.
As it is a mudra of knowledge, it enhances the knowledge. The tip of thumb has centers of pituitary and endocrine glands. When we press these centers by index finger the two glands work actively.
There is no particular time duration for this mudra. You can practice by sitting, standing or lying on bed whenever and wherever you have time.
o Increases memory power and sharpens the brain
o Enhances concentration and prevents Insomnia
o If we practice it regularly, it will cure all psychological disorders like Mental, Hysteria, Anger and Depression
2. Prithvi Mudra (Mudra of Earth):
Tip of the ring finger touches the tip of the thumb, with the other three fingers stretched out.
It reduces all physical weaknesses.
It has no particular time duration. You can practice it any time you want.
o It helps to increase the weight for weak people
o It improves the complexion of skin and makes the skin to glow
o It makes the body active by keeping it healthy
3. Varuna Mudra (Mudra of Water):
Tip of little finger touches the tip of thumb, with the other three fingers stretched out.
It balances the water content and prevents all diseases which come due to lack of water.
It has no specific time duration and one can practice it according to their time.
o It retains clarity in blood by balancing water content in the body
o Prevents the pains of Gastroenteritis and Muscle Shrinkage
4. Vayu Mudra (Mudra of Air):
Keep the index finger on the base of the thumb and press with thumb keeping the other three fingers straight.
It prevents all the diseases that occur due to the imbalance of the air.
The practice of this mudra for 45 minutes reduces the severity of the disease in 12 to 24 hours. For better results practice it for two months.
o It cures Rheumatism, Arthritis, Gout, Parkinson's disease and paralysis without any medicine
o It is useful for Cervical Spondilytis, paralysis to face and catching of nerve in neck
o It corrects the disorder of gas in the stomach
5. Shunya Mudra (Mudra of Emptiness):
Keep the middle finger at the mount of Venus and press it with thumb.
It reduces the dullness in our body.
One can practice it for 40 to 60 minutes daily until to be cured from the disease.
o It relieves an earache within 4 or 5 minutes
o It is useful for the deaf and mentally challenged, but not for inborn ones.
6. Surya Mudra (Mudra of Sun):
Bend the ring finger and press it with thumb.
It sharpens the center in thyroid gland.
Practice it daily twice for 5 to 15 minutes.
o It reduces cholesterol in body and helps in reducing weight
o It reduces anxiety
o It corrects indigestion problems
7. Prana Mudra (Mudra of Life):
Bend ring finger and little finger and touch the tip of thumb with their tips keeping the remaining two fingers stretched.
As it is the mudra of life, it improves the power of life. Weak people become strong. It reduces the clamps in blood vessels. If we practice it regularly, we will become active.
No specific time duration. One can practice it any time.
o It improves immunity
o Improves the power of eyes and reduces eye related diseases
o It removes the vitamin deficiency and fatigue
8. Apana Mudra (Mudra of Digestion):
The tips of middle finger and ring finger touch the tip of thumb while the other two fingers are stretched out.
It plays an important role in our health as it regulates the excretory system.
Practice it daily for 45 minutes, but practice for longer time yields more benefits.
o It regulates diabetes
o It cures constipation and piles
o It helps excreting the normal waste regularly
9. Apana Vayu Mudra (Mudra of Heart):
The tips of the middle finger and ring finger touch the tip of thumb, while the index finger touches the base of thumb and little finger stretched out..
It benefits the heart. It works like injection in the reduction of heart attack. It is as powerful as sorbitate tablet. It reduces the gas content in body.
Practice it as many times as you can. Heart patients and BP patients can practice it for 15 minutes daily twice for better results.
o It strengthens the heart and regularizes palpitation
o It regulates excretory system
o It redeems gastric trouble
10. Linga Mudra (Mudra of Heat):
Interlock the fingers of both the hands and keep the thumb of the left hand vertically straight and encircle it with the thumb and the index finger of the right hand..
It generates heat in our body. Take milk, ghee, more water and fruit juices in addition to practice of this mudra for much benefits.
Practice it any time you want. But don't practice it a lot as it produces heat in the body.. It can cause sweating even in winter if you practice it longer.
o It stops production of phlegm and gives power to lungs
o It cures severe cold and bronchial infection
o It invigorates the body
It is amazing but true. If you want to see the results, start today!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
You came to me unexpectedly during the balmy and calm night, and what
happened in my bed still leaves a tingling sensation in me.
You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly, without any reservations, you laid on my naked body... you sensed my indifference, so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any guilt or humiliation, and you drove me near crazy while you drained me.
Finally I went to sleep.
Today when I woke up, you were gone, I searched for you but to no avail,only the twisted sheets bore witness to last night's events.
My body still bears faint marks of your enthusiastic ravishing, making it harder to forget you.
Tonight I will remain awake waiting for you.......
The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.
So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.
The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,
"Do you know where God is, son?"
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God?!"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time.
("I just LOVE reading next line again and again")
GOD is missing, and they think we did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"A woman without her man is nothing"
on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class wrote:
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."
All the females in the class wrote:
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."
Punctuation is powerful !
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So....you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".
Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!"
The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man.
The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...."